The nurse pulled up my chart and went quiet. Then she asked, “Why was this diagnosis never followed up?” I told her my husband had said the doctors told him my PCOS made pregnancy nearly impossible, so we’d stopped trying. She looked back at the screen and said my records showed something very different. I had been diagnosed with PCOS, but there was no note saying pregnancy was impossible, and there had been a recommendation for another evaluation that I never knew about.
I asked her what happened in 2013. She found the appointment immediately. My husband had attended with me, and the notes said the doctor had explained that PCOS could make conception more difficult but had also discussed several treatment options. Then I saw a line I’d never seen before: “Patient’s husband requests that fertility discussion be continued privately.” The nurse asked whether I’d ever had another appointment that year. I said no. She checked the scheduling history and found one. I had been booked for a follow-up three weeks later, then the appointment was cancelled by a phone call from my husband.
I went home and asked him about it. At first he said he didn’t remember. Then I showed him the chart. He sat down and finally admitted he’d cancelled the appointment because he didn’t want us to keep trying. I asked why he’d blamed my PCOS for eleven years. He said he thought it would be easier if I believed my body was the reason. Then he opened an old email account and showed me the message he’d sent the doctor after our last appointment. The subject line was “Please don’t tell her yet.” And the message underneath explained exactly why he’d wanted me to believe something that wasn’t true.
